I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
