He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
