He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
