It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize