You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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