Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
