i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
