Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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