if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize