she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
