he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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