I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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