I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
