Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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