They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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