Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
