i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
