She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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