Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
