let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
