Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
