hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
