just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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