So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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