God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
