maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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