I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
