Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
