Dignity is for republicans.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
