well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
