So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
