last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize