Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
