Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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