the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
