she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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