She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
