we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
