also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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