I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
