I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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