I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
