we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
