You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
