we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize