She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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