He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
