So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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