Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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