I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
