I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
