discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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