i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
