I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
