I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
