Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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