New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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