Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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