sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
