I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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