and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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