We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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