I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
