I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
