I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
