So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She bit a glass in half.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
