hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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