Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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