I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
