There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
