Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
